Oddball students, falling academic standards, lecherous colleagues, fortunes spent on 'corporate' follies, an over-reliance on foreign fees and business donations, striking lecturers, poor student welfare – and an A+ explosion in cheating... welcome to a British university in the 2020s.

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The Secret Lecturer takes you into the seminar room (a repurposed store cupboard, as it happens), the cranky staff meetings, the botched disciplinary meetings, a complicated town vs gown relationship and the secrets of lecturer relationships with professors.

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And now, it's your time to speak up.